Thursday, June 13, 2013

Confident But Terrified

Pre-surgery photo shoot a success. Mastectomy surgery scheduled for 6/17. Terrified. Confident but terrified.

There are lots of thoughts floating around in my head. Some of them are completely inane (how many miles of running/cycling can I get in before my surgery) others make sense (anxiety, relief, fear). Right now I'm settling my nerves with the calming of distressed friends and family; reading and re-reading of inspirational and supportive email/text messages; scheduling meal deliveries for next week; listening to the music that makes me smile, dance, sing; planning activities and play dates for the kids and compiling list of 'must-dos' before Monday at 9am.

Still a roller coaster and behind closed doors I'm a little shaky.

Going in with deep breaths. 

Come Monday, I'll be shooting for 'grace and aplomb' but I will absolutely settle for 'not-too-shaky'.

(And if you did not just bust into a rousing version of Jimmy Buffett's "Come Monday", try harder! Bonus live version with Kenny.)