Gratitude Everlasting – Day 7

I can read & write both words and music.

I can speak enough Spanish, German and Italian to get myself into trouble, make new friends and/or find a good meal.

I can set up, perform, analyze and document an experiment following the scientific method.

(There are some higher math skills that I was once capable of performing but it has been awhile, so let’s just agree to skip those!)

I owe many of those skills, and many more, to my teachers.

Day 7 – November 7^th – Today I am Mindfully Grateful for Teachers.

But, for me, school was more than reading, writing and arithmetic.

Self-Confidence: It’s been over 30 years but I remember Mrs. Burns, my 4^th grade teacher, was the first person not related to me (and therefore not obligated to boost my self-esteem) to tell me that I was beautiful. I look back on pictures of those gawky, preteen, bespectacled years and wonder, “What on Earth was she thinking?!?”

But I’m grateful. I have never forgotten the moment and I think I always walked a little taller after that.

Inner Strength through Knowledge: Ms. Appelbaum, my 7^th grade Health teacher became my confidante when someone very close to me spiraled into a deep clinical depression. Mental health has a considerable stigma now but even more so in the 1980s and no one was supposed to know. I asked hypothetical questions about suicidal depression and she gave me answers. She was always there when I needed to talk and she gave me truths about mental health that any young teen needs to know – namely that it wasn’t my fault.

That year I learned that knowledge was power.

Perhaps unbeknownst to her, she was a tether that helped me view what was happening in a more clinical form. She was truly a lifeline.

The Joy of Truly Reading & Writing: Mr. Sullivan, my junior English teacher challenged my brain until it hurt. He taught me to read critically. Dissecting books for meaning did not appeal to me until that year and then it became one of my favorite activities. I devoured required texts, evaluated them for obvious and hidden meanings and then wrote lengthy essays drawing comparisons to past and present life issues.

And I enjoyed the heck out of it!

In eleventh grade, I was developing my own code of ethics and Mr. S helped give me the skills to distill and communicate those principles. By the end of that year, I read for enjoyment and found pleasure in the quiet evaluation of meaning tied to every character, setting and statement. And, in eleventh grade, I fell in love with double entendres!  

Call it a personality quirk or a superpower but I can recite every teacher I ever had up until college. Each one of those teachers gave me something in addition to the subject matter attached to his/her respective title, I have simply captured three standouts.

My children are only in middle school but I recognize their attachments to certain teachers. These men and women teach them the basics and then they give them the skills to learn so much more about themselves and their world.

And then there are those who we learn from every day. Our parents, our children, our co-workers, our friends. With interaction and observation these people help teach us who we are, what we want, what we stand for and what we’re made of.

And today I am grateful for them all.

NOTE: If you'd like to spend the month in a similar state of gratitude, you can play along with me here in the comments section – What are you Grateful for? - or check out KindSpring.org to sign up for their 21-day Challenge begins TODAY!

Gratitude Everlasting – Day 6

My grandmother would have been 87 this year.

But she died almost two years ago after a massive hemorrhagic stroke, a week and a half after her birthday.

Death wasn’t sudden, it took four days for her to realize the gravity of the situation, weigh her options, decide to say ‘goodbye’ and let go. She died with dignity and she definitely had the last word. There is a comically sad and heartwarming story there, one that I’ve told over and over again and may document one day.

But today I’m grateful for the time I was able to spend with her and the things she taught me.

Day 6 – November 6^th – Today I am profoundly grateful for grandmothers.

Grandmothers are a unique lot. 

Nanas, Grannies or MawMaws, it really doesn’t matter what you call them, these women are always mothers but they are not YOUR mother. Which means, unless they’re raising you, grandmothers have the ability, and usually desire, to let certain things slide. These ‘certain things’ are the same behaviors that absolutely did not pass muster when they were wielding the mom badge with their own children: Dirty hands, faces and feet in the house; eating dinner in front of the television set; candy as a food group; staying up way past bedtime.

As my mother tells it, her mother had four children specifically so they could cook and clean for her. And they did. But, this same woman, in the role of my grandmother was famous for home cooked meals, messy craft projects and made-to-order pies.

My grandmother taught me how to crochet and knit.

To be completely fair, my mom tried to teach me both skills but, for whatever reason (I can think of about forty-five reasons), she was much harder for me to listen to and learn from. I also have a sneaking suspicion that my mother may have had less patience with me since I’ve now seen a similar situation play out with my children and my own mom in her role as Grammy.

My mom is a wonderful mother but the woman who visits my children a couple of times a year does NOT resemble the woman who raised me. She looks like my mother but she acts like Mary Poppins on 5-hour Energy.

Grammy gives my children get anything and everything they ask for in the realms of food, toys and clothing. 

Initially this was incredibly annoying to me and we had a conversation when my daughter was an infant when yet another box arrived at the house:

• Me: “Mom. Really. You don’t need to send all this stuff. She does not NEED any more clothes.”
• Mom: “Look. I am the GRANDMOTHER and it is my RIGHT to buy my GRAND DAUGHTER anything I want to.”

There was an implied “So There” that came across the phone lines loud and clear leaving no room for misinterpretation. 

Boxes would continue to arrive.

Now I just shrug. It makes her happy to make them happy.

But, in the grandmother role, Grammy’s standout feature is the gift of time.

Since they were tiny, she has spent hours upon hours playing with them. Barbies, LEGOs, paperdolls, craft projects, whatever. If they ask, she suddenly has the energy to make it happen. And every activity, every hour she spends doing something with them is an hour remembered and a memory made. 

I didn’t see my grandmother often as a child, we lived halfway across the continent, but when I did, the time was magical. Nail painting with colors my mother would never let me buy; dinner in a kid-sized lawn chair in front of the television set; messy crafts on the breezeway; a sewing room full of tulle and embellishments the cousins and I were free to rummage through. 

And, one summer, she taught me how to make fancy bows out of paper ribbon.

My grandmother is gone but her time with me was a gift that will not be forgotten and I am grateful for those memories.

Late last year my mother taught my daughter how to knit and crochet - something I didn’t quite have the patience for.

And I know this is a gift my daughter will remember for the rest of her life. And, one day, she will be profoundly grateful.

NOTE: If you'd like to spend the month in a similar state of gratitude, you can play along with me here in the comments section – What are you Grateful for? - or check out KindSpring.org to sign up for their 21-day Challenge that begins TOMORROW!

Gratitude Everlasting – Day 5

If you read my daily gratitude for Day 4, you can probably imagine I went to bed in fleece jammies last night.

Snug under the covers, I reached for the current book on my bedside table The Journal Of Best Practices – A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man’s Quest to Be a Better Husband

The book resonates with me on so many levels:

• I used to be a special education teacher and worked with many children who had been diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome and/or were on the autistic spectrum;
• I live and work in Silicon Valley where Asperger’s Syndrome is not necessarily a disability but simply an uber prevalent reality;
• I am married with two young children and David Finch’s stories about love, marriage and family are outlandishly humorous and painfully honest.

But it could have been any book. I simply enjoy the written word.

Day 5 – November 5 – I am mindfully grateful for books.

Non-electronic, printed, paper-filled, with or without pictures, BOOKS.

I am not an eBook fan and I’m not a Kindle or Nook user.

I like the weight of a book. I love the smell of a book.

I marvel at the multitude of text fonts, illustrations and photos that can only be captured in a book. I relish reading the front cover for a sneak peak of what lay beyond. I enjoy reading the back cover to get an inside look into the mind(s) behind the words.

As I child, I enjoyed reading scary books and being so afraid, I would only tentatively touch the corners of the pages to turn them, lest something frightening jump off the page at me.

Sad stories (or emotionally happy ones) end up tear-stained and my "most favoritest" books end up with pencil lines and comments in the margins.

There are boxes of books read to me as a child by my parents and there are boxes of books I read to my children when they were younger. The covers are worn but the stories remain intact. And just seeing the book I’ll Love You Forever takes me back in time to two children in diapers, piles of spit-up covered laundry and naptimes!

Beyond the sentimental, books are a gateway to learning and a catalyst for conversation. Pick up the book, digest it and then talk about the content with another.

Books are definitely best when shared.

An accompanying gratitude would obviously be my ability to read these books or the author’s willingness to share, but today I am simply grateful for the bound pages themselves.

NOTE: If you'd like to spend the month in a similar state of gratitude, you can play along with me here in the comments section or check out KindSpring.org to sign up for their 21-day Challenge that begins on November 7^th!

                                                                                                   

Gratitude Everlasting – Day 4

My children would like me to be grateful for our home’s central heating today.

And then they’d like me to turn it on.

It is autumn and the air is indeed brisk. Typical November weather would also have us bathed in rain by now but the sun is shining bright and the irrigation system is still running strong.

Which means my garden is still in full bloom.

Day 4 – November 4^th – Today I am mindfully & profoundly grateful for my garden.

Gardening has always been more than a hobby. Gardening has been my meditation. I can lose myself for hours sowing seeds, pruning trees, harvesting carrots and even picking weeds. I swell with humble pride feeding my small family the literal fruits of my outdoor labor.

The birth, life and eventual death of a plant is amazing to watch and even more incredible to facilitate. And the lifecycle of gardening is enormous when you consider edibles become energy and mass in living beings. 

My son, for instance, is probably 50% Fuji apple, 40% Nantes carrot and perhaps 10% bacon. Oh the energy those apples and carrots put out!

Sadly autumn means the end of a fruitful garden in many of the places I’ve lived.

But not in California.

My snap peas enjoy the cooler temperatures and have entwined themselves around the same cages that supported tomato plants only weeks prior. My citrus trees are pregnant with oranges, lemons and kumquats, brightening as the days grow darker.

But it is my grape arbors that epitomize the transition of the season. Vibrant green leaves have browned yet the fruit remains, getting sweeter as the days go on. (I believe there’s an easy metaphor in there for anyone that’s interested.)

So the kids shiver in their fleece jammies* at the breakfast table, hoping today is the day I can be grateful for the modern convenience of central heating.

I consider the request. After all, it is November 4^th

Smiling kindly, I kiss them gently and say, “Put a sweatshirt on!” before heading out to the garden.

NOTE: If you'd like to spend the month in a similar state of gratitude, you can play along with me here in the comments section or check out KindSpring.org to sign up for their 21-day Challenge that begins on November 7^th!

*No children, pets or adults have been harmed in the writing of this post. It actually hasn’t dipped below 59 degrees inside the house yet and they do have plenty of warm clothes and blankets. Oh! And I HAVE finally agreed to shut the windows at night.

Gratitude Everlasting – Day 3

Music.

Day 3 – November 3^rd - Today I am profoundly grateful for music in my life.

Last night I was transported back through the decades, reintroduced to the present and kicked back to the last century again and again on the dance floor. Singing and dancing to songs from college, high school and even songs I only remember hearing in the backseat of my parent’s car (on cross-country family road trips that ended when I turned 10) wasn’t just social and memory-provoking; it was fun!

At the end of the evening, which was no doubt short in comparison to some of the other dancers out there, my feet were sore but it was my face that hurt from laughing so hard and so often.

Music, whether listened to, played or danced to, has the ability to transport us, through memories, to another place and time; transform our emotions and state of mind by calming, focusing and/or energizing and, in my opinion music can heal our minds so our bodies can heal themselves.

This is not the part where I say something silly like “Music Cures Cancer.” Namely because I don’t believe that is true. But I do believe in the power of positive thinking and I do believe in the old adage Mind Over Matter.

On morning of June 17^th, my husband and I watched the sun come up in the parking lot of Kaiser Permanente, from the front seat of our car. Tears flowed down my cheeks as I considered the surgery and ensuing questions that still hadn’t been answered.

And we listened to Jason Mraz’s 93 Million Miles.

“Son sometimes it may seem dark, but the absence of the light is a necessary part.

Just know, you’re never alone, you can always come back home."

I remember all those swirling fears finally settled in my head, and I thought ‘Just This’.

“93 million miles from the Sun, people get ready, get ready,

'cause here it comes it’s a light, a beautiful light, over the horizon into our eyes…”

Every time I hear that song, I am transported back to that moment. And I am grateful. For a successful surgery, for a best-case treatment scenario and for my husband’s hand to hold.

Beyond popular culture and incredible lyrics, there is the actual playing of instruments.

“Music is another language,” I explain to my children as they sometimes frustratingly struggle to learn to play clarinet and saxophone.

I played the clarinet. Not really well but I played through high school where I met the people who became most influential in my young life – my best friends. Music wasn’t always our focus but music is the excuse that brought us together originally and facilitated our interactions day in and day out. Music is not the reason I have kept in touch with these individuals (since my clarinet retired the day I graduated from high school) but music helps me remember the fun we had and often a rousing John Phillips Sousa tune or an incredible DCI video, triggers an email or phone call.  

So today I am grateful for music that can be played, sung to, danced to, cried to or simply enjoyed.

 NOTE: If you'd like to spend the month in a similar state of gratitude, you can play along with me here in the comments section or check out KindSpring.org to sign up for their 21-day Challenge that begins next week!

Gratitude Everlasting – Day 2

So Day 2 is a bit more challenging.

Not because I’m not grateful for a multitude of people and things today but because I simply am overwhelmed at all I have to be grateful for now that I’m spending some time really thinking about it.

On any given day, I could easily say I was grateful for family, health, friends, shelter, food and each of those would be true but they would also be vague. And, for the next month, I’d like to be specific and mindfully grateful.

So after mulling over the plethora of wonderful things in my life, I have decided that today I am mindfully grateful that I have access to quality health care.

Day 2 - November 2nd - I am grateful for my access to quality health care.

(And my access to quality health care is predicated by health insurance coverage.)

Six months ago, health insurance or the care that was available with it would not have seemed like a very big deal. I didn’t go to the doctor very often.

All that changed here and with the surgeries, doctor visits and medications I’ve had lately and will continue to require, health insurance has been critical to receiving quality care without annihilating our retirement savings and children’s college funds.

Yesterday my gratitude for clean water seemed like something most individuals in first world countries could be grateful for but health care is still a concern for many people globally. We have countries still struggling to make vaccines widely available to their populations.

So today I am profoundly grateful for the availability of, and my access to, a few kick a$$ doctors and medications!

To better understand the reality for those who are unable to be grateful for access to health care, read on:

United States:

http://kff.org/uninsured/fact-sheet/key-facts-about-the-uninsured-population/

http://www.pbs.org/healthcarecrisis/uninsured.html

Latin America:

http://www.worldbank.org/en/news/feature/2013/09/11/mother-child-healthcare-inequalities-latin-america

Africa:

http://thinkafricapress.com/health/african-healthcare-desperately-needs-shot-arm

NOTE: If you'd like to spend the month in a similar state of gratitude, you can play along with me here in the comments section or check out KindSpring.org to sign up for their 21-day Challenge that begins next week!

Gratitude Everlasting - Day 1

On November 7^th, Kind Spring (@Kind_Spring) kicks off another 21-day Gratitude Challenge. I accepted the challenge and signed up a few days ago to commemorate the five-month anniversary of my breast cancer diagnosis. And yet, when the sun rose this morning, and I began to think about the plethora of people and things in my life that I am grateful for, I decided I needed more than 21 days to celebrate them.

Nearly simultaneously, I realized that the end of the month of November would mark the six-month anniversary of my cancer diagnosis and recognized that my physical and emotional return from that mind-blowing, soul-crushing afternoon at the end of May is what I am most grateful for every day I open my eyes.

So my 21-day challenge has just expanded and my new commitment is to be mindfully grateful every day of this month. All of the goodness will culminate in a Thank You party on November 30^th for all of you who have loved and supported me and my family over the past few months in our biggest time of need. (Consider this post a save-the-date, evites to follow to those I have email addresses for so send me yours or stay tuned for more information!)

Since thirty days of gratitude and a big party at the end of the month could be considered a no-brainer for most of us living in a first world country, I’ve upped the ante for myself by requiring a blog post (written daily) on the object of my gratitude. This will indeed be the CHALLENGE part - daily documentation.

And so we begin.

Day 1 – November 1^st - Today I am grateful for clean water.

I am profoundly grateful for access to clean water for myself and my family.

We have unlimited access to clean water for drinking, for showering, for cooking, for gardening and for washing when, according to CharityWater.org, 800 million people do not even have access to clean drinking water. I also have access to the ultimate luxury of clean, hot water for showering, which I truly consider a stepping stone to a achieving a state of nirvana.

I am grateful.

If you'd like to help others find gratitude in the same seemingly mundane activity of drinking clean water, consider checking out and supporting the following organizations:

www.CharityWater.org
WADI: by Helioz
UNICEF water & sanitation program
TheWaterProject.org

NOTE: If you'd like to spend the month in a state of gratitude, you can play along with me here in the comments section or check out KindSpring.org to sign up for their 21-day Challenge.